My Valentine

I love quotes. I really really love quotes. I admire the quoters for being able to express exactly what I am feeling by using the least amount of words possible, which is something I can rarely accomplish. There is one in particular which I have applied to Philip from the moment I read it, and it goes like this:

"I didn't need, or even want, to be with the best-looking man in the room, but the one who inevitably got my attention was the one whose eyes held a glint of something magnetic: humor, mischief, curiosity, a sense of adventure." - Meg Donohue

I must admit, yes (of course) I did have an attraction to all the 'best-looking' guys out there, because isn't that how 'the hunt' for a partner begins? In like... every species?...
But the point is, even though there was a sensible amount of other dudes out there who might have been a better fit than Philip, they didn't hold my interest very long. For some strange, complicated, otherworldly reason, it was him who caught my interest, and who holds it still. I'm not going to lie, ours is NOT a Prince Charming and Cinderella relationship. We don't spend our days doting on each other, we have to play on opposing teams in any sport, we don't give each other the heavens or the shooting stars, we rarely see eye to eye, and we have conflicting views on 90% of anything that we could possibly disagree on (and I'm not even kidding. or exaggerating.) We can be childish, insensitive, stubborn, ignorant, and selfish a dozen times a day... but we get through it. Before meeting Phil, I used to disbelieve that opposites attract, and he proved me wrong.
I have come to realize what really matters. I don't care for songs and sonnets written about me... I care for thumb wars that turn into pillow fights that turn into wresting matches. I care for weird, made-up goodnight stories about Prince Philip and the Chupacabra. I care for moments when we laugh so hard that we just lay there for minutes recovering from belly aches. I care for spur of the moment late-night dinners, for code words about restaurants, and for yelling "bread makes you fat??!" in public places.
It's definitely not easy just living a normal, married life and make normal, reasonable decisions. We kick and scream our way through things we don't feel like doing (him folding laundry, me making important phone calls) and argue about the uselessness of stuff the other makes us do (him not leaving his shoes where I trip over them, me not leaving on the lights when I leave the room). We push each other to our limits almost every day. And living a normal life can get kinda hard.
But you know what is NOT hard? It's never hard to laugh with each other, for each other, or about each other. It's never hard to take long road trips and discuss important topics for hours. It's never hard to agree on money management, careers, education, family, or our futures. It's never hard for us to drop whatever we are doing and go help a friend in need when the call comes. It's never hard to bring each other up when we are down. It's never hard to listen to each other's vents, dreams, jokes, and stories. I always have a best friend in my husband. And really, that's all that truly matters.
Now I'm off to enjoy the rest of my Valentine's Day with the one who matters most :)

He totally lost at Battleship the other day. 

Sleep Talking... again

Maybe "Sleep Talking" should be a regular blogging subject... This one happened on the night of December 3, 2013. I woke up at 2:30am and realized Phil had fallen asleep in the living room playing Xbox, so I woke him up on my way to get a drink of water and he stumbled into bed somehow.
About half an hour later I was still awake in complete silence and I heard the following:

Phil: Whatever!
Me: Uhm. What?
Phil: Whatever works.
Me: Hey what are you dreaming of?
Phil: Turn off the light
Me: .... do you want me to turn off the light?
Phil: If you want
Me: But the light is already off
Phil: Ok. *continues sleeping* 

So apparently he was dreaming I'd asked if he wanted the lights on or off...  I wanted to keep talking to him and make him say silly things, but decided to let him sleep.

I'm Lovin It

I am currently sitting at a McDonalds in San Antonio eating chicken nuggets and passing the time until Philip calls me to pick him up from a huge building down the road. He was unexpectedly laid off one week and one day ago, and today he is interviewing and taking a test for GE Oil and Gas. If all goes well, we will both be moving to northeast San Antonio in a matter of weeks... most likely before Christmas! The original plan was for him to come by himself, but we decided it would be prudent for me to come along in case he DOES get hired today so that we can look for an apartment (or house) and get to know this part of town better. I have no idea how long this interview and test will take, which is why I came prepared with a fully charged laptop, cellphone, and pocket Sudoku book.
I can't really say how I feel about suddenly moving out of Corpus Christi. I have been excited for January to come so that I can start on my GIS certificate at TAMUCC, but I have also been wanting more for us than just existing... and that's pretty much all there is to do in Corpus. We had always imagined settling down in San Antonio for good, but I just didn't imagine it would come so quickly.
Philip is extremely excited about this job. For starters, it means he actually has a chance at a career with an international company, instead of the usual hit and miss contracts with his previous company who hired and laid off people in a matter of minutes. Although I have been worried about money since he was laid off, I must admit I have loved this past week. The side of Phil that I fell in love with finally came back out after two days of getting enough sleep and not being away from home for 16 hours of the day. (Last night he walked the dog, swept the living room, made dinner, and did the dishes! Plus, today he has promised to fight the crowds at HEB and go grocery shopping with me! Who IS this man? hahaha)
Well, I have now finished eating my 10 chicken nuggets and now it's time to "help" Philip out with his English homework. He's decided his last paper of the semester is going to be about Wonder Woman and I am going to help him find sources to cite. Should take about 20 minutes, I'm good at this stuff.

Tithing Miracles

Each blessing comes through obedience to a certain law, and although I have no doubt in this, there is one particular blessing which has been tried and tested time and time again throughout my life more than any other. It has been easy to see the results because they have always been so immediate, and there is absolutely no way they could have happened without divine intervention. I am talking about the law of tithing. Give the Lord 10% of your earnings, and he will return so many blessings that there will be no room to receive them.
I have chosen to record the many divine wonders in the following list. My only regret is not having done so sooner.

1. November 22, 2013. Philip was unexpectedly laid off 3 days ago and has been searching for a new job ever since. We expected him to keep this job at least for another month and then go right into a different one, so it caught us extremely off guard. Since we are in some debt, all of his high earnings have gone to pay it off what we could, so we hardly added anything to our savings. As of today we are still wondering how we will get through the most expensive months of the year and hoarding as much money as possible. Today, I came back from my lunch break to find a note on my desk from my boss. He has managed this company for over 5 years and never given any sort of bonuses to his employees. This year, however, I found a handwritten Thank-You note and $250 cash. I just want to go over and hug him... but apart from being inappropriate it would be the most awkward moment of my life. There is no doubt in my mind that this was an answer to our prayers. 

Sleep Working?

Did ya'll know that Philip talks in his sleep? I'm thinking of sleeping with a notepad next to our bed so that I can write down our conversations. I find it funny that he ALWAYS thinks he's at work. Here's our conversation last night:

Me: I love you boo
Phil: It's what, two-eighths or three-eighths?
Me: uh.... its three-eighths
Phil: ok thanks
Me: what are we talking about?
Phil: the stud against the pipes
Me: Oh ok
Phil: *rolls over and continues sleeping*

Sometimes when he's awake I have trouble understanding what he says, but when he sleep talks he speaks in a very clear voice, and even says thank you! Haha, I love my hubby. Can you believe we've been married for almost 4 months already?! Seems like no time has gone by.

None Ya

I finally got to visit my parents this past weekend after 3ish months of not seeing them. It was great! I played with puppies, ate mom's homemade food, hung out with friends, and basically just relaxed and felt like I was 16 again (hubby had to work and stayed behind).
 The only bad part (and reason for this venting) was the dozen or so ladies in church asking over and over if I was preggers yet. Really? I've been married less than FOUR MONTHS and that's all you can ask? Nothing about "how's married life" or a good old "how are you?" Some went as far as following the preggers question with "oh, well have you gained weight then?" (jerk. I haven't. I've been the same for the past two years.) and others said "oh that's good, but how long do you plan to wait?". That's such a personal question, and quite honestly, none of your business. If it's socially acceptable for you to ask about babies then it should also be socially acceptable for me to ask how much credit card debt you have. None of my damn business, right? Exactly.
By far the worst one was this lady whose name I don't even know lecturing me about contraception. She said things like "why havent you seen a gynecologist yet? I don't understand how girls can even use contraception without even knowing if they're fertile or not." and "if you use condoms you're always going to be stressed out, you're never going to enjoy your relationship." What the hell? what's it to you? I don't even know your name and you're lecturing me and telling me I should get pregnant as soon as possible? As much as I'd like kids some day, this is between my husband and I. Nobody else is going to be raising my children, so nobody needs to be lecturing me about condom usage.
Ugh, makes me so mad. Not even my parents or in-laws ask me about babies, why the hell should I answer to you? So what if I want to wait a little longer? Last I checked age 23 isn't considered old and decrepit yet. It's not like it's a now or never kind of thing. Excuse me for wanting to have a house, career, and education before a baby. Good things take time, and if my children are going to be the best thing that ever happened to me, then you can be damned sure I'm going to plan for them accordingly.

Office Talk

Today Steve and Dale were talking about how they finish a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting, and then asked if my husband did anything like that. I responded with "I think he's smart enough not to do that when I'm in the house." After thinking about it a few more seconds I said "well, he'll do this thing where he'll finish an entire box of Cheez-Its in one sitting and won't leave any for me."
Both Steve and Dale chuckled with familiarity, and then they went off on how great Cheez-Its are. Here are a few quotes:

• "Walmart has the two pound package, that's where I buy em. HEB only has the one pound."
• "I used to end up with a pile of crumbs on my chest from eating a whole box during a movie. Just took the vacuum hose and sucked them all off before standing up."
• "And Cheez-Its are great, you get all your basic food groups! You get the cheese, you get the "its"..."
• "... you get the red, you get the yellow, you get the crunchy.... that's all you really need."

Oh men. I was warned that in 30 years I'd come home to my husband eating out of the tub of ice cream sitting in his underwear watching TV. Is it bad that I can already picture this? 

Morning Commute

My hubby was transferred to work in a refinery a looong ways away, and today is Day One of him commuting almost 3 hours every day. He woke up at 4am and got ready to head out (work starts at 7am) and I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. I'm very grateful for his sacrifice to drive out there and back every day in order to support us and feel blessed to have married such a dedicated, hard-working guy. I plan to take this opportunity to double the efforts on my side and improve my "wifey-homemaking" skills, starting with making a better effort at cooking dinner. Philip will probably arrive home around 7:30pm, work on homework for an hour-ish, and then be in bed by 9pm every day for the next 4 months.

Sigh.... it's gonna be a long fall. 

1.5 hours there, and 1.5 hours back home.
Maybe we should just move to San Antonio. 

on clean house and conflict

When I came home this Sunday night I was exhausted from driving for 3 hours after having some car troubles, and I walked into a completely trashed apartment. There were random pieces of clothing, notebooks, papers, pens, bowls, cups, pillows and other things strewn all over the living room. The kitchen sink was overflowing with dirty, oily dishes and other things (kitchen shears and knife sharpener) which should not have been in there. The garbage can was stuffed (why even try to put a pizza box in there if it's BIGGER than the trash can??) and looked like it had vomited all over the floor. Pieces of mail were laying on every flat surface imaginable, and my dishcloths had food stains and were balled up and thrown on the stove top. Further examination of my apartment revealed a mountain of washed (and now wrinkled) laundry on the bed and floor of the second bedroom, opened toiletries laying pell-mell all across the bathroom sink, and dirty laundry scattered so bounteously in the main bedroom I could have jumped from one to another pretending the floor was lava and not burned my feet. I had gone through great pains to leave my apartment neat, clean, and organized for when I returned, and so at 10PM after a weekend of traveling (I hate driving long distances) this was a recipe for quick anger and loud, obnoxious rants.
Philip is the deepest sleeper I've ever met. I walked into our bedroom dragging my suitcase behind, threw it on the bed, turned on all the lights, slammed shut about 3 open drawers, opened and closed doors, and proceeded to have the loudest most annoying conversation with him about how great it was to be home and how my trip was and how I loved it when he kept the house clean and waited up for me. He slept soundly through all of this. I finally got him to wake up by pulling the covers off and violently shaking him awake. And then I continued with my venting for some time.
One thing about me: I have a quick temper, but an even faster 'cool down'. Usually after 5 minutes I'm left feeling deep remorse for how I acted and I'm always the first to apologize. I've gotten so good at this that half the time I also apologize for things I know were NOT my fault, but that I could have handled better. This time it took a solid 30 minutes of folding laundry before I consented to go to bed... and then I said I was sorry (which I was). Neither one of us slept very much simply out of displeasure, annoyance and tension.
We are usually extremely verbal about our disagreements, but for the next 24 hours we became silent and passive-aggressive, which is quite damaging to our relationship and makes both of us want to be anywhere but home.
Then, while listening to an FHE lesson I attended in the YSA branch, a completely unrelated topic came to my mind. I was reminded of the bible story of Jesus visiting Martha and Mary, which goes like this:

Luke 10: 38-42; Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.  

And then it hit me.... As much as I like to live in a clean and orderly house, it is much more important to work on my marriage. I was being the Martha of this story and worrying about present cares while missing the whole point. I realized that the value of our marriage is much greater, and that the progress we make is eternal, whereas our apartment's cleanliness only lasts a maximum of 2 days.
When I came home he was still in a bad mood, but since at least one of us was willing to try and work things out, it got fixed pretty fast. Our apartment still looks like a tornado swept through it, but at least we fell back into the routine of prayer and scripture study and we both slept soundly last night.
We are both much more cooperative and happy to do housework when there's no conflicts between us, so I expect some dishwashing, vacuuming, dusting, and laundry will be done tonight.