Heeeeyyyy Macarena!

Technology is acting up in the office today, and I was too busy facebooking to notice until I heard the following from Dale:

"I can't get into Quickbooks, Johnette can't get into Quickbooks, my computer is frozen... there's only one thing to do! Dance the Macarena!....... And then I need to go to the bank." 

And he pulls up and plays the Macarena song right on cue! Hahaha it was one of those "had to be there" moments.

The Serpentarium

In two weeks we are supposed to be relocating our offices to the second floor of this building, which is basically a long hallway with glass doors and walls leading into the offices. This description sucks, so I went downstairs and took a picture. Here it is:

Doesn't that remind you of a zoo's reptile exhibit? I was filing something in Dale's office when he told me we were "moving downstairs to the serpentarium", and Michael overheard. Naturally they both had to go off on this joke.

Michael: "I'm going to put a sign on Damaris' office that says DO NOT TAP ON GLASS"

Dale: "PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE WORKERS"

Michael: "OBSERVED IN THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT"

Dale: "Heck we can even chop some tree logs and stick 'em in there!"  

Har har, so funny guys.

 

 

 

Dale's Monologue

Since I was supposed to move to San Antonio (no longer happening) and leave my office job (also no longer happening) Dale and Michael are conducting interviews today for several positions that need to be filled. About 20 minutes ago Dale went and sat by the window to keep a lookout for a woman that was supposed to arrive at 12PM. This was his monologue:

"I think that's her down there. Came in and parked sideways, took up two spots."

"Now she's looking for something in her trunk. She's probably messy."

"... Still looking. Wonder what's so important back there..."

"A notepad! After all this time she just took out a tiny little spiral notebook."

"Spat her gum out on the ground and walked away."

"Now she's walking towards the entrance reeaaal slow."

"Ran her fingers through them oleander leaves, that mean's she's a feeler."

"Alright, now she's squared her shoulders and she's walking towards the entrance with her chin up. That's got to be her. Nobody walks like that unless they're going to a job interview or to the gallows."

"But Michael's not here yet, what am I supposed to do to entertain her?"

(co-worker's response: Make her fill out a job application.)

"Yeah, good idea, that'll keep her busy."

As it turns out, this wasnt the woman we were waiting for. The real one showed up 30 minutes later and is currently cheerfully talking away (it sounds cheerful, anyway) in Michael's office.

Excluders

Its quiet and peaceful in the office today, but probably not for long. Dale's quote of the day is as follows:

"You know what a turtle excluder is? For shrimping, when a turtle gets in the net it's thrown back out and we just keep the shrimp. We need a Miglini Excluder. When Michael comes in and sits at his desk, he get's kicked out of his desk and we don't see him for the rest of the day."

Dystopia

Dale's quote of the day is as follows: 

 "It's funny how we always start talking about Michael and then wind up talking about the apocalypse." 

Reason why this is hilarious: its super accurate

Office Talk

Today Steve and Dale were talking about how they finish a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting, and then asked if my husband did anything like that. I responded with "I think he's smart enough not to do that when I'm in the house." After thinking about it a few more seconds I said "well, he'll do this thing where he'll finish an entire box of Cheez-Its in one sitting and won't leave any for me."
Both Steve and Dale chuckled with familiarity, and then they went off on how great Cheez-Its are. Here are a few quotes:

• "Walmart has the two pound package, that's where I buy em. HEB only has the one pound."
• "I used to end up with a pile of crumbs on my chest from eating a whole box during a movie. Just took the vacuum hose and sucked them all off before standing up."
• "And Cheez-Its are great, you get all your basic food groups! You get the cheese, you get the "its"..."
• "... you get the red, you get the yellow, you get the crunchy.... that's all you really need."

Oh men. I was warned that in 30 years I'd come home to my husband eating out of the tub of ice cream sitting in his underwear watching TV. Is it bad that I can already picture this?