Cleaning: Not Just My Coping Mechanism

P left for Houma, LA early this morning and we have no idea how long that job will last. He might be home for Christmas, or he might not... who knows? Although I am mentally prepared for the bitterness of having him gone most of December, I also need a way to cope.
The year I lived with Loni she quickly figured out that I often cleaned when I was upset, and she would kindly ask me if there was anything she could do. It was not until then that I realized cleaning was my coping mechanism.
Naturally, 20 minutes after the rumbling of P's truck had dissipated, my entire apartment was vacuumed.
 [Actually, let me make a tangent to exclaim just how AMAZING my new Dyson vacuum is. I ordered the cheapest one Best Buy had and I couldn't be any happier. It's a tiny, battery powered, lightweight thing with the craziest suction power. Upon using it for the first time, I was both appalled and astounded at how much dog hair was sticking to 10 square feet of carpet. I had to stop there because 1) it was already full of too much dog hair and 2) P was watching TV and refused to be interrupted to jump up and down with excitement about a vacuum. Dyson DC44 Rating: Awesome]

So back to my point, I super-vacuumed everything as soon as P drove off. And then proceeded to clean the kitchen, fold laundry, wipe down surfaces, put P's leftover tools away, and find other reasons to use my Dyson, such as sucking dust out of the AC vents. Worked like a charm.

My second coping mechanism: blogging. Here are my reasons as to why keeping a clean house makes me feel better about everything.

1. It is pleasing to sit in a clean, orderly room. 
2. Cleanliness attracts cleanliness and vice versa. If the place is a mess... I'll make more mess. If it's clean, then I'll want to keep it clean. 
3. Things don't get lost. I have a big rule about having a "home" for everything in the house, plus having one junk drawer per room. It totally works. 
4. Blank slates spawn creativity. For example, when all the dishes are clean and put away, and the fridge is nice and organized I feel like cooking. When my desk is clear of clutter I feel like writing or doing homework. When my clothes are all washed and put away I feel like trying harder than a "jeans and a t-shirt" look. 
5. It reduces my stress level. I've noticed that when I tidy up one room then I want to spend more time in that room and avoid the messy places of the house. That's because I feel more relaxed when I am in a clean environment. 

Alright, so there. With P gone my apartment is so clean and quiet that even Venom is lounging about instead of hyperactively chewing on toys. Now that this blog post is done and there is nothing else for me to clean, I must finally get to working on my awfully long take-home final exams. Ugh. 

on clean house and conflict

When I came home this Sunday night I was exhausted from driving for 3 hours after having some car troubles, and I walked into a completely trashed apartment. There were random pieces of clothing, notebooks, papers, pens, bowls, cups, pillows and other things strewn all over the living room. The kitchen sink was overflowing with dirty, oily dishes and other things (kitchen shears and knife sharpener) which should not have been in there. The garbage can was stuffed (why even try to put a pizza box in there if it's BIGGER than the trash can??) and looked like it had vomited all over the floor. Pieces of mail were laying on every flat surface imaginable, and my dishcloths had food stains and were balled up and thrown on the stove top. Further examination of my apartment revealed a mountain of washed (and now wrinkled) laundry on the bed and floor of the second bedroom, opened toiletries laying pell-mell all across the bathroom sink, and dirty laundry scattered so bounteously in the main bedroom I could have jumped from one to another pretending the floor was lava and not burned my feet. I had gone through great pains to leave my apartment neat, clean, and organized for when I returned, and so at 10PM after a weekend of traveling (I hate driving long distances) this was a recipe for quick anger and loud, obnoxious rants.
Philip is the deepest sleeper I've ever met. I walked into our bedroom dragging my suitcase behind, threw it on the bed, turned on all the lights, slammed shut about 3 open drawers, opened and closed doors, and proceeded to have the loudest most annoying conversation with him about how great it was to be home and how my trip was and how I loved it when he kept the house clean and waited up for me. He slept soundly through all of this. I finally got him to wake up by pulling the covers off and violently shaking him awake. And then I continued with my venting for some time.
One thing about me: I have a quick temper, but an even faster 'cool down'. Usually after 5 minutes I'm left feeling deep remorse for how I acted and I'm always the first to apologize. I've gotten so good at this that half the time I also apologize for things I know were NOT my fault, but that I could have handled better. This time it took a solid 30 minutes of folding laundry before I consented to go to bed... and then I said I was sorry (which I was). Neither one of us slept very much simply out of displeasure, annoyance and tension.
We are usually extremely verbal about our disagreements, but for the next 24 hours we became silent and passive-aggressive, which is quite damaging to our relationship and makes both of us want to be anywhere but home.
Then, while listening to an FHE lesson I attended in the YSA branch, a completely unrelated topic came to my mind. I was reminded of the bible story of Jesus visiting Martha and Mary, which goes like this:

Luke 10: 38-42; Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.  

And then it hit me.... As much as I like to live in a clean and orderly house, it is much more important to work on my marriage. I was being the Martha of this story and worrying about present cares while missing the whole point. I realized that the value of our marriage is much greater, and that the progress we make is eternal, whereas our apartment's cleanliness only lasts a maximum of 2 days.
When I came home he was still in a bad mood, but since at least one of us was willing to try and work things out, it got fixed pretty fast. Our apartment still looks like a tornado swept through it, but at least we fell back into the routine of prayer and scripture study and we both slept soundly last night.
We are both much more cooperative and happy to do housework when there's no conflicts between us, so I expect some dishwashing, vacuuming, dusting, and laundry will be done tonight.