100 Annoying Things

This post makes me sound like I'm angry at the world, but really I just feel like typing away while thinking creatively and listening to Pandora. The boss is gone, my office is empty, and all my work is finished. Let me happily click away at my keyboard until 5-o'clock comes around.

A bunch of bad things that happen to good people... 

1. Getting your back scratched, but the person doing it never finds the itchy spot 
2. Biting into nothing but lettuce in your Subway
3. When you're about to get out of the car and your favorite song finally comes on
4. Being asked "how was work?" for the millionth time and having to give a boring, bland response
5. Your paper towel not tearing off all the way on the perforated line
6. People asking you questions over dinner when all you want to do is chew and chew and chew
7. Forgetting to bring your new bottle of shampoo and conditioner into the shower with you
8. Realizing you didn't lock the front door after getting into bed
9. Waiting for that one extremely slow driver to pass before you can pull out into traffic
10. Having 3 socks loose their sole-mates after doing laundry
11. Getting hiccups right as you're about to fall asleep
12. Reading something in which the oxford comma is not used
13. The TV volume not being on an even number
14. Leaving the McDonalds drink in your cup holder overnight and coming back to a puddle of watered down Dr.Pepper when you try to throw it out. 
15. Perfectly quoting a movie at the right time and then nobody gets it
16. Finding shelves cleared of an item I had a coupon for
17. Food not heating evenly in the microwave
18. Drying my hands with damp towels
19. Getting licked by a dog who just drank out of the toilet
20. Mispronouncing a word because I was thinking of it in Spanish and now I sound stupid
21. Items falling into the black hole between the seat and center console in the car
22. The pain in your hands as you carry all your grocery bags up the stairs
23. Washing out old food in greasy tupperware containers
24. Finding a bird pooped on the car you washed 3 hours ago
25. Or worse: having a bird poop on the door handle of the car you washed 3 hours ago
26. Driving behind a person that can't decide where they're going
27. Your pen running out of ink during an intense note-taking session
28. Pouring a bowl of cereal and finding out there's no milk
29. The vending machine eating your last dollar
30. Forgetting to turn off the alarm for a Saturday morning
31. Having to talk on the phone after running up the stairs
32. Never finding your name on personalized key chains
33. Coming home and realizing you forgot to take out the smelly trash in the kitchen
34. Having "Lion King" hair days
35. Dumb cashiers that smash your bread while bagging the groceries
36. Someone biting into a Kit Kat without sharing
37. Getting asked "do you work here" when I try to fix things on shelves at Walmart, even when I'm wearing basketball shorts and a hoodie
38. Finding out that part of the outfit you planned to wear today is in the laundry
39. Being woken up during the best part of your dream
40. Finishing a good book and feeling empty inside
41. Not getting a compliment on the dinner you just spent 3 hours and half your grocery budget on
42. Having to reset the password because of 3 failed attempts
43. People talking on the phones in libraries
44. Paper cuts on my fingertips
45. Fighting with a new toy's packaging for 3 hours because I can't find a pair of scissors
46. Someone altering the seat and mirrors in my car
47. Finding toast crumbs in your butter
48. People who ask about every single item on the menu before ordering a #1 with a Coke
49. Having to explain the same thing 4 times because your husband won't pause the game. 
50. Sitting on a damp bench 
51. Someone talking an unattractive photo of you and posting it on Facebook 
52. The price tag leaving behind an ugly, sticky residue on a gift
53. Taking forever to find the perfect temperature in the shower
54. Burning my tongue at the beginning of a meal and not being able to taste anything afterwards. 
55. Hitting every red light because of that one car that cut in front of you
56. Stepping on something wet while wearing socks
57. Having to fill up on gas right after the price went up
58. Finding an awesome shirt on sale and not finding your size... like why you gotta play me like that? 
59. When you try to watch your favorite movie but none of your friends find it interesting
60. When you wake up in the middle of the night and one of your arms is asleep for no apparent reason. 
61. Finding nasty stuff under your fingernails
62. Discovering your t-shirt is inside out halfway throughout the day
63. Being the driver on a long road trip and having everybody in the car fall asleep
64. Driving into the sun and having no sunglasses 
65. Having a human giraffe sitting in front of you at the movie theatre
66. Getting a sunburn that leaves marks of what you wore
67. Receiving multiple responses from unknown phone numbers after being the recipient of a mass text
68. Having to get up out of an extremely comfortable couch
69. Stepping into an ant pile
70. Finding a hole in your favorite shirt
71. The day when your shoelaces don't want to stay in a knot
72. Sounds at the dentists office
73. Things getting in your eyes during a very windy day
74. Seeing someone take a sip of your drink thinking it's theirs
75. Finishing a puzzle only to find there are missing pieces
76. Forgetting there's stuff in the oven until it starts to smoke
77. Being really hungry and the food you're trying to eat is super hot and you burn your tongue with every bite
78. Waiting an entire week for the next episode to come out
79. Spammers on Craigslist
80. Picking the slowest line at the grocery store and watching all the other lines move faster
81. People who complain about being fat but are obviously the skinniest person in the group
82. Parents who swear at their children
83. Finding thirteen half-finished water bottles in your kitchen
84. Dealing with people that think they're above the rules
85. Getting asked when you plan to have kids
86. Tiny dogs that bark excessively
87. People whose emotions are all based on how well their team is doing
88. Having to reset all the clocks in the house
89. When an idiot says "literally" but they're supposed to use "figuratively" instead
90. Hearing the word "like" 5 times per sentence
91. Plucking my eyebrows. It's so painful. 
92. Always messing up the first pancake  
93. Wanting to sneeze but not being able to
94. Getting slapped because someone was trying to kill a mosquito on you and missed
95. Mistakenly using the conditioner before the shampoo
96. Hitting your shin on the ball mount hitch of a truck
97. Stubbing your toe in the dark
98. Chapped lips and no chapstick
99. Game requests on Facebook. Seriously, nobody cares about you Farm. 
100. Missing a step going down the staircase