Apples to Apples: First World Problems

So I've wanted to purchase a Mac for about... 8 years now? Big purchases scare me because I'm always afraid I'll make a mistake and regret it for a long time afterwards, but big purchases that involve consumer electronics scare me even more. I depend on these things too much! What if I can't get used to it? What if it's not what I imagined? What if what I REALLY wanted was that OTHER thing that I didn't get? As I'm typing this out, I am reminded of a personal favorite show (OK, who am I kidding, I'm addicted to TBBT) The Big Bang Theory's Season 7, Episode 19 (The Indecision Amalgamation) in which Sheldon cannot decide between two gaming systems.

The time has finally come to where I'm actually GOING TO BUY a Mac. But a few things frighten me:
1) Why is the Air suddenly $100 cheaper? Is it because there's a newer version coming out in the near future? If so, I don't want to get stuck with the old version...
2) I wanted an Air because its so small, but really... it's only a pound or so lighter than the Mac. I can handle an extra pound in my backpack. Oh but I forget: it's so light! and thin! and Air-y!
3) Alright, so what if I go with the Pro? Well, the Pro is slightly more bulky (but still lighter than anything I've ever owned), it's much more expensive (because I go for top-of-the-line stuff), but just feels so... powerful. And I'll be taking a TON of computer-y classes for the next 2 semesters (at least), so shouldn't this be my best choice?
4) But, I've also been wanting an iPad. If I were to buy an Air, I'd be able to afford that iPad along with it... Two new toys!
5) But wait, aren't I waiting for the rumored iPhad to come along? The next generation iPhone, the iPhone 6, the combination of iPhone and iPad... same thing. Whatever it is, and whenever it comes along, I'm getting it. My faithful little iPhone 5 has been going strong for a long time now, but (as the persistent golddigga AT&T keeps telling me) I'm much overdue for an upgrade. So if I'm getting a bigger iPhone... what do I want an iPad for?
6) And so if I really don't need an iPad, why would I choose the Macbook Air over the Pro?
7) Well... because the Air is cheaper, lighter, and looks prettier.
8) Hey! Who said we are going for looks here?
9) It's Apple... it's always been 80% about looks.

Ugh. I'm just going to adopt Sheldon's practice: