Of all the birthdays I've ever had, this year's was probably the least exciting one for one reason only: my brother left at 6am the next morning. On January 21 at around midnight I began receiving the usual deluge of "Happy Birthdays" from all kinds of wonderful people and automated emails, but I felt anything but happy. If anyone of you well-wishers is reading this today, I want to express my deepest gratitude for your friendship and love, and I regret not being appreciative of you that day. It is only now, 3 days later, that I have taken the first baby step in the 'healing process' of saying goodbye to Chris. I ate a slice of birthday cake my mom bought for me (first bite to eat in about 48 hours), I finished reading a book, I went to ATT go get Philip a new phone, and I deleted all the games Chris used to play on my phone, and I went shopping for a journal.
Things are getting better! This morning I walked into my office and did two things before turning on my computer: 1) turned on a space heater by my feet and 2) made some very hot herbal tea. About 2 minutes after my de-thawing process had begun Dale walked in carrying a huge candle and a paper bag with an equally huge cinnamon bun. Here's the pic.
Why does that look like such a forced smile? Because I COULDN'T FEEL MY FACE! And maybe because the hot wax burned my fingers and I destroyed my cinnamon bun trying to get it out of the bag, but I actually laughed a genuine laugh this morning. That's an achievement. Dale is such a great guy, he's brought me cinnamon buns multiple times and tells me funny stories to lighten the mood almost every day. Yay sugar for breakfast!
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